I’m a mother, an immigrant.
In a previous life, I have what appeared to be a track record of career successes: partner track at a prestigious management consulting firm, an MBA from a top school, then later, a product manager at a top-notch tech company (a FAANG).
But I felt scared, lost, and unfulfilled, ALL THE TIME.
There’s always another step I could climb, another person I could beat, and way more money I could make.
Along the way, I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful guy and got married to him, but I didn’t feel fulfilled because work and career success defined how I value myself.
Something had to change.
Over the last decade, I went on a journey to heal from traumas of the past and to discover what I truly want in life, which I have seldom asked myself in my years of racing to the top with the rest of the rats, aimless and clueless.
I started this blog because I want to share my learnings and knowledge with the underdog: women who want to get rich or retirees who are trying to catch up later in life.
Fatfire Woman is the best personal finance blog that helps you optimize life based on the values that matter most to you.
What is FatFIRE?
FIRE stands for “Financial Independence, Retiring Early.”
It’s a goal to retire early (RE) and become financially independent, free from miserable bosses and soul-crushing jobs.
To achieve FIRE, we commit to living way below our means and save more than 50% income, much higher than the typical 10% recommended by financial advisors today.
There’s an entire subreddit of people dedicated to accomplishing this ambitious, lifelong goal.
As FI/RE gained popularity, people began to take it to different paths.
A group of people became LeanFIRE, taking frugality to the extreme. These people live in low cost of living areas and live on a very limited budget.
While a FIRE family needs 1 to 2 million dollars to get FIRE’d, a LeanFIRE family needs only $300K to $500K.
Another group of people, myself included, wanted to FatFIRE.
Everybody’s FatFIRE vision is different, but it usually means being able to live and travel very comfortably and afford expensive hobbies and material possessions that best suit your lifestyle and needs.
For me, being FatFIRE is not about luxury or expensive hobbies.
FatFIRE means I can afford the best education and healthcare for my entire family. And that I can afford to take time off and be with my kids, travel extensively around the world, and write blogs like this to spread my thinking.
I want to go to bed without dreading about what I “have” to do the next day. I want to go to wake up whenever I want (well, except when my kids need me). I want my boss to be my customers and reads only.
Becoming FatFIRE means I can take care of my aging parents and allow them to live a dignified, comfortable life no matter how sick they get.
FatFIRE means I can go see the best doctors and conduct routine checkups whenever I want.
Fatfire means I can buy a house in the #1 public school district in my state, and spend more time with my kids, the time my parents never gave to me because they were too stressed out from working and surviving.
My family already has FIRE’d. But our FatFIRE goal is 5.4 million dollars, and we are not there yet, but getting closer every day.
I have a full-time job and so does my husband. Together, we make around $500K a year.
We could both make more if we worked harder, and certainly, a lot of people in our positions make $750K to $1 million together.
This might sound crazy to some of you, but it is a huge psychological shift for me to NOT feel like failure because we have consciously chosen to make “less” than our maximum.
In fact, my entire identity has been so tied up to my professional success and measuring myself against others, that I see a psychologist on a regular basis just to make sure I am okay living according to what makes me fulfilled and content, not what looks good on LinkedIn.
Come join me on this journey. Let’s discover our values and figure out how we can create habits that best align with how we really want to really live.
Who Should FatFire?
It is my mission in life to help women, minorities, the elderly, and other disadvantaged people to become financially empowered.
Freedom doesn’t only belong to a 21-year-old bro who got lucky with bitcoin. Although my thoughts and prayers also go to this 21-year-old boy because he has so much more to learn and a life that’s guaranteed to still be full of struggles, disappointment, rejections, and grief – like all of us do.
But let’s talk about women for a second.
Women who take control of their lives transform themselves and their families. We already know that. So why aren’t more women part of the growing trend toward achieving high net worth?
It is because it gets SO DAMN HARD after you have kids. I get it. I’m a mother.
Many elderly people have worked hard all of their lives, only to be left with barely anything to survive because nobody has taught them financial literacy.
And what about the disadvantaged people everywhere who did not grow up with a trust fund and is sacked by debt?
I think a lot about why some people succeed wildly and others do not.
And most of it is not due to hard work or luck.
It is the lack of knowledge and information.
I’m not talking about stock tips or how to make money fast: these are the exact scams our society has created to keep people in poverty.
I’m talking about the knowledge you need to learn to form habits, discover values, understand feelings.
I’m talking about knowing yourself, your weaknesses, what you want, and then knowing how you can learn the skills to achieve your goals.
Wealth is not a dirty word for evil rich white people. Wealth belongs to all of us. Chase after wealth.
So want fatFIRE? You have to learn economic theories, the history of times, cognitive psychology, and mental models you need to act today, and repeat every day.
If you are cluelessly living through life and letting your emotions wreak havoc, you can’t be wealthy.
If you don’t understand how money works and why debt is used throughout history to enslave humans, you can’t be rich.
In this blog, you’ll only find long, detailed posts.
I thoroughly analyze a topic and write about it, so that you’ll get the answer you need to make the best decision for your life.
FatFire Woman Values to Live By
Here are the 10 values I strive to live by every day. I am going to talk a lot about how these values manifest themselves in the decisions I make: both financially and otherwise.
Fatfire Woman Values:
- Loving your family starts with loving yourself.
- Build your character through generosity, integrity, fairness, and courage.
- You can be honest as long as you can also be kind.
- Work hard and take risks. You will never regret either.
- Consistently prioritize your physical and mental health.
- Listen to your children.
- Ask for what you want.
- Outsource and automate when you are overwhelmed.
- You might as well have fun.
- Reach out. Get hurt. Repeat. This is life.
That’s it for now.
And oh, sign up for my email list today.
As of today, 100% of the content on this website is written by me. There is no catch; I want to share everything that’s helped me to conquer my fears and realize my ideal life, so you can realize yours.
If you find what I’m writing helpful, please consider buying me coffee. I spend a considerable amount of time on writing and hosting the content, your support keeps me going.
Kelly Graham says
Love it. I am a FIRE man that has chosen to teach in a high-school that is filled with young talented minorities and immigrants. I spend a great deal of time explaining that their goal of financial freedom is achievable. There is an emphasis placed on autonomy and education. After reading your story, I think you would relate with my students, so well. Would you consider being a guest speaker or recording a little something for our students at F.L. Schlagle high school located in Kansas City, Kansas? Truly grateful for your blog.
Kelly Graham J.D.
Veronica says
Would love to, Kelly. I’ll reach out to you via email. And thank you for being an amazing teacher who cares about your students!
Sue says
Very excited to find your blog! Love the topics and deep analysis. Happy to be a new subscriber!
Veronica says
Thanks so much, Sue! Welcome and would love to hear if you have any specific questions you’d love to see us discussing!
Katy says
That’s awesome!
This absolutely resonates with me.
And I love a long read!
Jozefien says
I found your website. Looking forward to reading your blog as I am currently on my way too to financial independence.
johny says
Initially I thought this was about a fat woman retiring rich, but I understand you now.
Linda M Campbell says
Dearest Fatfire,
I am grateful, as are thousands of others (for now, but soon many more!) that you are a teacher/ researcher/ synthesizer who honors and gifts each of us distilled gems of thought that enlighten our
thinking.
Linda
Veronica says
Thanks so much Linda!
JohnCD says
Liked what I read. Your philosophy of life is somehow “peace giving.” Not sure why, but i definitely found it so. You are also an insightful, clearly smart, and I suspect “rich in life” woman which is more than “things” and “money”, although those don’t hurt! Thanks for a good read.
Veronica says
Thanks so much for the kind words. Like everyone else, I am trying my best, oftentimes failing, but still trying. 🙂
Kim Woodbury says
Your article on the next stock crash may have been one of the best investing articles I have read in my life, and after getting swept up and totally wrecked in the crypto market recently it was exactly what I needed to hear. Invest for the long the and go live your life… Thank you!
Veronica says
Hi Kim, thank you so much, happy to hear you found it helpful! It’s okay to invest in crypto, just make sure you don’t put too much money into it as it is highly volatile and risky. I’m a crypto investor myself, I find the concept super fascinating. I have about 5% of my net worth in crypto, and won’t go higher than that.
JaZ says
I was looking for long-term index funds/ETFs to buy and hold, and came across your website. I enjoyed very much reading a lot of your articles. They are awesome, insightful, easy-to-follow, and most of all made sense and meaningful to the readers. Really appreciate your hard work and your willingness to share your wisdom and knowledge. Though I am still many years away from retirement, I feel much confident how to handle post retirement wealth growth after your reading your blog.
I would really appreciate if you can write a article on Roth IRA, and the investment strategy on Roth IRA.
JaZ
Veronica says
Hi JaZ, thank you very much. Do you have any specific questions on Roth IRA?
Russell McBride says
Like others so far, I came across your website searching for Vanguard funds and seeking verification that what I had chosen as investments was valid. And the mention, “Best Vanguard Funds for Older Folks Near of In Retirement” confirmed many of my investment choices. My wife and I invested trusting an advisor during the dot.com debacle. The advisor abandoned us, not returning phone calls, as we were ignorant of the trends of the market then, we sold at a 50% loss. Since then, my wife has always been leery of market investments. We then invested in real estate, retired and sold our real estate assets, but have un-invested cash getting zilch return in a savings account. I’m trying to convince my wife that we can invest in the market in an ethical and truthful manner. I am asking her to read this blog. We make all important decisions in agreement. If she feel comfort from your postings and agrees to invest, I’ll owe you more than a cup of coffee.
Veronica says
Hi Russell – Thanks for commenting. Congratulations on retirement! I think what your wife is feeling is very common among many, many people. I, too, have been burned by the 2008 recession, and as a result, I’ve certainly sold or kept money in cash that I later regretted. But I also think fear is a good thing. Fear keeps you from being too aggressive, which a lot of people are these days because they’ve never seen a stock market crash before. Remember: if you are scared, it’s okay, you don’t have to put ALL of your money into the stock market. The stock market is a volatile and sometimes emotionally draining place. Work with her to find a certain amount of money you are comfortable putting into the stock market, knowing that even if it tanks, you still have enough back up to live off of and KEEP the money in the stock market until it recovers. I’d encourage you to talk with her about dollar-cost averaging a certain amount of your un-invested cash into the stock market, and dollar-cost average it over a few years if you are really worried.
For example. If you have $1,000, you don’t dump all $1,000 into the stock market at once. Instead, you put $6 into the stock market every week so that after three years, all $1,000 is fully invested into the stock market (Vanguard can automate this for you, so you don’t have to buy every week). If you do it this way, if the stock market crashes this year, you will have lost a little bit would’ve kept investing. And if the stock market does not crash and keeps going up, you would’ve kept investing and made gains. Remember: fear is sometimes a good thing; it keeps us from making irrational decisions. We don’t want to be too fearful not to act at all.
Russell McBride says
Thanks for your reply. Fortunately we are on the same page. You with your thoughts and actions, and in the past week choices we have made. Gradually investing, Vanguard funds (Life strategy Conservative VSCGX and blending VBIAX). We get a 40/60 with one and a 60/40 US only with the other. Neither require action on our part other than to stay calm when needed. This allows us a 50/50 ratio with some intl with a US predominance. Any thoughts are appreciated.
Veronica says
This makes sense to me. I am not a financial advisor, but this is what I would’ve done for my family nearing or already into retirement.
Russell says
And, with calm discussion and talk about investing, we discussed our past experiences in real estate investing. The 2008 to 2011 downturn in our market in Virginia was very bad. It was very scary then. We even talked to attorney friend about filing for bankruptcy. He gave me some stern advice. Work harder. Or put another way, stay the course with your real estate holdings as history, like the investment markets, rebound in time. In January 2012, the light switch flipped and we had a very successful year and in the following years. We did invest in the Life Strategy and US balanced funds as previously mentioned. Thanks for your article and follow up responses. And I do owe you a cup of coffee.
Russell
cynthia says
This is amazing and touching post I ever see. I am not In USA and I am from Australia. I am also immigrant and have quite basic wage. I used 14 years to reach Fire. But I still did not retire yet. Because retirement is somehow lost purpose. I tried a while due to Covid 19 lock down and it even effect my mental healthy. I love your quality of post and especially your value. It is very high quality and full of meaningful thoughts. I also begin my blog and just thought ad record as my journey.
Veronica says
Hi Cynthia! Thanks for writing in and sharing, and congratulations on reaching FIRE!
ian says
Wow , the more I read the more I see people who are half full of shit . I notice none of your articles have dates on them so your predictions will always be right when you cannot place a date on them . So you are full of shit or maybe 75% . Much of what you say is fact and just a repeat of common sense and what others have said for many many years . The idea you could predict the COVID 19 virus and its huge effects is absurd ( I know you have stated in the fine print this but your headline provides the reader with this initial image . I love the fact your predictions do not have dates on them , very clever . Nostradamus and you have many things in common both of you were full of the preverbal .
Veronica says
Hi Ian – thanks for taking the time to write in! I definitely never said I could predict the covid 19 virus. Also, the entire purpose of my blog is to educate users to not trust expert predictions and time the market. As to your complaint that my advice is common facts – ha, I wish! Too many people still pay a lot of money learning how to day trade. Anyways, have a great day!
Mike says
A date on each article would be helpful.
Davi says
“when will stock market crash” well thought out article, easy to read, written with reference to facts tempered by emotional intelligence.
many thanks
An honest read says
Instead of obsessing over financial freedom, you can save far more grief and effort by winning over your insecurity. You seem unable to extricate yourself from conflating money and self-worth. I doubt reaching your stated $5.4M is going to keep you happy being out of the labor market. Because you will continue your game of comparisons while people in your circles who continue to work will inflate the price of your target lifestyle at the high end at a pace far exceeding your passive income growth rate (because they work!). If you want to sustain an early retirement, you need to settle for less, but this whole concept of ‘fatFIRE’ is fundamentally at odds with that natural implication and underscores your desperate search to overcome insecurity. You won’t find your answer in the bank account. Go give yourself some room to breathe and explore different options that you find fulfilling. Something that’s not a cover for your insecurity, but that keeps you proud and confident. If that path leads you to less money, remind yourself what it was like to be in the rat race. You only have one life to live, true freedom from material goods requires you to let go.
Veronica says
Thanks for writing in, reader! I hear you deeply, and recognize you are right in many ways – this obsession with wealth, especially behind a certain point, does deliver meaningful satisfaction in life. This is why life is a balance, and a struggle to find the ideal balance for YOU and ME. For me, being a full-time mother does not bring me full satisfaction in life. And yet, I also do not want to abandon my children in search of wealth. I have made decisions in life that are the best for my family but not the best for my career, and vice versa. It’s always a fight, and always a struggle to figure out whether I am doing the right thing or not. Only time will tell. What I will say, though, is that everyone had a hierarchy of needs, basic security is at the bottom and enlightenment is at the top. It is okay for some people to focus more on maximizing security while others seek to uncover the true meaning of life. Thanks again for writing in. I love these reminders.